freeak out!

Some time I have momentarily what i might call internal freak out moment. I for like 30 sec freak out about a problem I'm having or old feeling about a guy bubbling out, or work being stress from work. and sometimes even all 3 at once. I can muti task or what? : ) ok anyways I have this quite internal like "oh my god do i still have feelings for him? no of course not, but he still makes my heart squeeze, idiot! you're in a great relationship, yea but what if? what if my ass, you had a chance do i need to remind you? no i guess i dont have feelings for him" (did I mention I can be a tad bit skitzo when i freak out?) or  "god i should quit, grow a pair for once! but how could I? they need me there, and the money is good, but jeez how can any sane person put up with this? jeez... uuggghhhh...... " and all i would need is that brief internal conversation and i feel better, i don't feel like I'm about to snap anymore. its weird really people always ask me how i'm so calm... start talking to yourself it solves a whole lot of problems!

need no man

I never really understood these females that are always depending on males. Some one needs to tell them its 2011 stand on your own 2 feet! I have a man, though i will admit i play the "damsel in distress" sometimes ok cause I'm lazy and I don't want to try to open the jar, or get the spider cause I hate spiders. but that's hardly anything to criticize me on. I'm talking about those women that cry over not having a "man" to support them. Women should live  (and work) like they think tomorrow I'll be supporting myself, i met this girl the other day that was  crying over how her bf left her and she's broke with no job, so she had to move back in to her parents, and sleep on the couch.... blah blah blah. look lady, one if you are over the age of 16 GET A JOB! build life skills, have life experiences, don't be a douche and depends on people carrying you! its not gonna happen, and if you are one of those born in to money, well screw you, the rest of us are tougher than you will ever be!

Wth!

Seriously I'm sick of work, I've always thought I would be working on an office some where doing something important on my life, not waiting tables at the age of almost 30. I put up with idiot customers everyday, "what is an egg drop soup??" "can I get pad thai without the noodles?" "where's my fortune cookie?" "can I get a vegetarian dish no meat" egg drop soup is soup with eggs, pad thai is noodles without it, it is just a plate with ground peanuts, bean sprouts,.and eggs....... Fortune cookies are not thai, and duh you said vegetarian.... We have no help, and the money is good but the stress is not worth it! God please give me the strength to get through the days, and give me luck to get out

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